"I would never force my entire family to accomodate my pet": 38-year-old dog mom forces family to plan vacations around her anxious pup, sister-in-law refuses to keep driving 8+ hours to see her

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jun 5, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Being a pet owner takes a whole lot of responsibility. These little creatures that we keep in our homes are completely dependant on us; we are quite literally their whole world. Most pets are not here for a very long time, so it is up to their owners to make their time on this earth as comfortable and full of love as possible. Making financial and social sacrifices for your animal companion are an unavoidable part of responsible ownership. However, making everyone around you bend to their will is just plain unreasonable.

In our story today, a dog mom expects her family to accomodate their travel plans so that she can attend with her anxious dog. Unwilling to pay a pet sitter, her antics start to annoy her sister-in-law who is fed up with having to spend hours on the road for a trip centered around a dog. To find out where you stand in this family feud, scroll down and get all the juicy deets. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not understanding why I have to plan a vacation around my SIL's dog?

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    via Nando Martinez from Getty Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (28F) husband (31M) has a sister (38F) who will not travel without her dog. This has forced us to plan all vacations and plans around her dog. She lives a few states over and for context, does NOT
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 03
    have a health requirement or mental health requirement that requires this dog. The dog is also not a handicap or special needs dog that requires special care. She just claims the dog is "anxious".
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 04
    She refuses to travel anywhere she can't drive with the dog. She also refuses to get a dog sitter despite me offering to pay for it. For further context, she went as far as to miss Thanksgiving and Christmas this past year because she didn't feel comfortable traveling with this dog.
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10513589504
    via TomeKozioł from pixabay

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  • 06
    The entire family seems to be on board with accommodating the sister and the dog and forcing everyone else to travel much further to accommodate her. She is one of seven members of
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 07
    the family. We are planning a July family get together and the location is now a 8 hour drive from us and we can't fly directly there. This is so the sister can drive with the dog for about 10 hours.
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  • 08
    When I mentioned to my MIL that it seemed "silly" to accommodate this dog, she went full defensive mode. Saying "she just doesn't feel comfortable getting a sitter" and "she doesn't want to leave the
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 09
    dog alone they are very attached". I get it, I have a pet myself and hate leaving her alone, but I would never force an entire family to accommodate my pet. I don't even think she will come to my husband
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 10
    and i's vow renewal in the spring since she doesn't fly with the dog and the drive will be too long. I just think it's a little over the top and a bit inconsiderate for everyone else involved.
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10513589760
    via Marta Wave from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    So, please let me know your thoughts. I'm very open. minded to try to see both sides. EDIT The entire family except her and her husband live in Tennessee. She lives in Colorado.
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291

  • If the rest of the family is willing to bend to sister-in-law's will, then the problem actually lies with our protagonist. No one is forcing her to attend anything that she doesn't want to; she can plan a different trip on her own. 

  • 13
    Jen5872 Stop planning trips with the sister. You and your husband should start planning your own vacations. You don't have to include the whole family. Go someplace that requires air travel.
    via u/Jen5872
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10513590016
    via RossHelen

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  • 15
    No_Hospital7649 This is the answer. OP is complaining about being "forced" to accommodate the dog.
    via u/No_Hospital7649
  • 16
    So stop. See SIL when it's convenient, vacation without your family, if the trip requires an 8 hour drive for Thanksgiving and you don't want to make it, don't make the drive. Say you're sorry, you have other plans.
    via u/No_Hospital7649
  • 17
    Obviously, your husband is a factor in this, but that's between you and your husband and has nothing to do with SIL.
    via u/No_Hospital7649
  • 18
    "No" can be a pretty revolutionary word when it comes to releasing resentment and finding happiness.
    via u/No_Hospital7649
  • 19
    New_Sun6390 Bingo. I have zero desire to travel or vacation with any of my family members. I'd rather go with just my husband or like minded friends.
    via u/New_Sun6390
  • 20
    sparksgirl1223 I wouldn't plan around someone else. I'd make my plans and leave her to make hers.
    via u/sparksgirl1223
  • 21
    Inner-Confidence99 Quit joining when her dog is priortized over other family members. Also, ask is she going to pay for everything gas, motels, car maintenance since everything has to accommodate her and her dog. Nope I'd be done and do my own thing.
    via u/Inner-Confidence99
  • 22
    Fun-Scar-2291 OP I see what you're saying. I definitely wouldn't ask her to pay for my things. But I'm definitely considering not attending just out of spite. My
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 23
    husband is very care free and doesn't mind the drive, he also loves his sister very much. I'm considering not attending though.
    via u/Fun-Scar-2291
  • 24
    Supposed_too This doesn't sound like "out of spite" to me. It's just valuing your convenience the way she values her dog's convenience. "I don't want to drive for 10 hours" is legit.
    via u/Supposed_too
  • 25
    Sugarbean29 Except she says it's an 8 hour drive for her and a 10 hour drive for the sis and dog. So sis is willing to drive longer/further, likely as a compromise.
    via u/Sugarbean29
  • 26
    OkGazelle5400 You just need to explain that all the family gatherings being so far away means that you guys will not be able to attend because of the resources it takes up
    via u/OkGazelle5400
  • 27
    FunProfessional570 Stop vacationing with them. Why spend time doing stuff you don't want to do. Just don't go. If husband wants to then he can go himself. You can plan your own holiday.
    via u/FunProfessional570
  • 28
    No_Stage_6158 Meh, I'd let them go on their dogcations by themselves. Why waste your PTO going to places just accommodate a dog that's not even yours?
    via u/No_Stage_6158
  • 29
    FrogsEating Soup Honestly, I wouldn't go this year and would take a vacation to somewhere a far planes ride away. Why should you constantly have to accommodate and inconvenience yourself for a dog. I don't hate dogs at all but I do hate unnecessarily long car rides. If his family can put up with her demands they should be able to accept that you don't always want to.
    via u/FrogsEatingSoup
  • 30
    Choice-Buy-6824 It sounds like the rest of your husband's family, including your husband don't really mind accommodating his sister and her dog. It seems like you're the only one. if she is happy to miss the
    via u/Choice-Buy-6824
  • 31
    holidays with family and other events, why would that bother you? I would ask if when you mentioned it to MIL and she went full defence mode was this the first time you brought it up, or the 3rd or the
    via u/Choice-Buy-6824
  • 32
    10th? Is this the only vacation that you have for the year? Do you have other vacations where you travel with just your husband and you go where you want and do what you want? It sounds like the rest of the family's viewpoint on this is very clear. I guess you
    via u/Choice-Buy-6824
  • 33
    could stay home if you want, maybe you don't like your in-laws. This seems like a crazy hill to di on, in terms of your relationship with your husband's family. If the rest of the family is OK with it why should you choose for them?
    via u/Choice-Buy-6824
  • 34
    fortreslechessake Yeah I think the sister being incapable of leaving a dog with a friend/sitter is incredibly silly but 8 hours is not really that far to drive for vacation in the US. Especially if everybody else is planning it and you just have to show up. I guess I'd need to know more about how often this compromise is happening before I judge but I agree it's not a hill I'd di on.
    via u/fortreslechessake

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family drama dogs marriage pets dog mom married life relationships sister in law Travel family relationship drama holidays entitled people vacation
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